NOBODY FUCKS WITH WAYNE NEWTON!! / NBA Mock Draft

What do you know it appears as thought the NBA Draft is literally right around the corner and to be honest besides a few mock drafts and this long ass breakdown I watched earlier today on ESPN I can't say with certainly what will go down tomorrow.

It's not like I've been doing nothing, I mean I've been chasing a Wayne Newton impersonator for the past two months. Ok this might sound pointless, long and all around a waste of time and you will soon find out that it is. But anyway about two months ago I was walking through a grocery store with my cousins and my aunt and I happen to see a guy who looked exactly like Wayne Newton. So like the fucking loser I am, I lost my shit and started yelling phrases that would make Samuel L. Jackson deem inappropriate. To get the gist of what I mean, I randomly started shouting "IT'S FUCKING WAYNE NEWTON"...I asked for an autograph then after being turn downed I acted bitter and coined the phrase "Nobody Fucks With Wayne Newton". Yes, you've heard it here first, "nobody fucks with Wayne Newton" was thought of by yours truly. Now it's not like anyone else has heard this yelled except the twenty or thirty customers that were unfortunately in the produce isle when my little "scene" started and one very confused 50+ year old man with a perfect jet black afro.

But anyways, I was in Quicktrip getting gas and a drink when I went up to the register to pay and I shit you not, who is standing before me? Non other than Wayne "fucking" Newton(for legal reasons I'll say the impersonator). So once again I lose my shit and yell "Wayne Fucking Newton" right in front of three cops, cause apparently quicktrip doubles as a police sub station or some shit....so yes he takes one look at me and says "oh god not again" and makes a run for the door. I didn't follow, well because that would've been rude and you know me, I'm all about the manners. So I payed for my shit along with awkward stares from the quicktrip guy and a few customers and I walk outside and give one last "Nobody Fucks with Wayne Newton" before I get in the truck and make my triumphant departure. Yes I live an exciting life.

Anyhoo...back to what this post was oringally about, the NBA Draft, I'm going to do what I do when every draft comes up and present to you with the My Sports Talk Mock Draft...so here it is.

1. Portland Trailblazers- Greg Oden C (OSU)

2. Seattle Supersonics- Kevin Durant F (TEX)

3. Atlanta Hawks- Al Horford F/C (FLA)

4. Memphis Gizzlies- Mike Conley Jr PG (OSU)

5. Boston Celtics- Corey Brewer G/F (FLA)

6. Milwaukee Bucks- Jeff Green G/F (G-TOWN)

7. Minnesota Timberwolves- Joakim Noah PF (FLA)

8. Charlotte Bobcats- Brandan Wright PF (UNC)

9. Chicago Bulls- Yi Jianlian PF (CHINA)

10. Sacramento Kings- Al Thornton F (FSU)

11. Atlanta Hawks- Acie Law IV PG (TEX A&M)

12. Philadelphia 76ers- Julian Wright PF (KAN)

13. New Orleans Hornets- Nick Young SG (USC)

14. Los Angeles Clippers- Javaris Crittenton G (GT)

15. Detroit Pistons- Rodney Stuckey PG (EMICH)

16. Washington Wizards- Jason Smith PF (CSU)

17. New Jersey Nets- Spencer Hawes C (WASH)

18. Golden State Warriors- Sean Williams PF (BC)

19. Los Angeles Lakers- Rudy Fernandez SG (DKV Joventut)

20. Miami Heat- Thaddeus Young SG (GT)

21. Philadelphia 76ers- Tiago Splitter F (TAU Vitoria)

22. Charlotte Bobcats- Daequan Cook SG (OSU)

23. New York Knicks- Wilson Chandler F (DePaul)

24. Phoenix Suns- Marco Belinelli SG (Climamio Bologna)

25. Utah Jazz- Morris Almond G/F (Rice)

26. Houston Rockets- Nick Fazekas F/C (NEV)

27. Detroit Pistons- Derrick Byars F (VANDY)

28. San Antonio- Jared Dudley F (BC)

29. Phoenix Suns- Petteri Koponen PG (Honka Playboys) GREATEST FUCKING NAME EVER!

30. Philadelphia 76ers- Josh McRoberts F/C (DUKE) Fuck them!

My Sport's Talk Mock Draft (updated)

The 2007 NFL Draft is just three days away and i'm and beyond excited. The great thing about the draft is it all these mock drafts mean absolutely nothing because of the somewhat randomness of the draft. With that said, I present to you, my official mock draft.

1ST ROUND

*1. Oak- JaMarcus Russell QB(LSU)

*2. DET- Gaines Adams DE(CLEM)

3. CLE- Brady Quinn QB(ND)

4. TB- Calvin Johnsn WR(GT)

5. ARI- Joe Thomas OT(WISC)

*6. WAS- Amobi Okoye DT(LOU)

7. MIN- LaRon Landry S(LSU)

*8. ATL(F/HOU)- Jamaal Anderson DE(ARK)

9. MIA- Adrian Peterson RB(OU)

10. HOU(f/ATL)- Levi Brown OT(PSU)

11. SF- Adam Carriker DE(NEB)

12. BUF- Patrick Willis ILB(MISS)

13. STL- Alan Branch DT(MICH)

14. CAR- Greg Olsen TE(MIA)

15. PIT- Darrell Revis CB(PITT)

16. GB- Marshawn Lynch RB(CAL)

17. JAX- Reggie Nelson S(FLA)

18. CIN- Leon Hall CB(MICH)

19. TEN- Ted Ginn JR WR(OSU)

20. NYG- Lawrence Timmons OLB(FSU)

*21. DEN- Jarvis Moss DE/OLB(FLA)

22. DAL- Aaron Ross CB(TEX)

23. KC- Joe Staley OT(CMICH)

24. NE(F/SEA)- Paul Posluszny OLB(PSU)

25. NYJ- Chris Houston CB(ARK)

26. PHI- Dwayne Bowe WR(LSU)

27. NO- Jon Beason OLB(MIA)

28. NE- Michael Griffin S(TEX)

29. BAL- Justin Blalock OG(TEX)

30. SD- Robert Meachem WR(TENN)

*31. CHI- Ben Grubbs OG(AUB)

32. IND- Justin Harrell DT(TENN)

2ND ROUND

33. OAK- Tony Ugoh OT(ARK)

34. DET- Trent Edwards QB(STAN)

35. TB- Anthony Spencer DE(PUR)

36. CLE- Ryan Kalil C(USC)

37. CHI(F/WAS/NYJ)- Zach Miller TE(ASU)

38. ARI- Marcus McCauley CB(FRESNO)

39. ATL- Charles Johnson DE(UGA)

40. MIA- Dwayne Jarrett WR(USC)

41. MIN- Anthony Gonzalez WR(OSU)

42. SF- Sidney Rice WR(SCAR)

43. BuF- Antonio Pittman RB(OSU)

44. ATL- Brandon Meriweather S(MIA)

45. CAR- Quinn Pitcock DT(OSU)

46. PIT- Samson Satele C(HAW)

47. GB- Craig Davis WR(LSU)

48. JAX- Tim Crowder DE(TEX)

49. CIN- Victor Abiamiri DE(ND)

50. TEN- Kenny Irons RB(AUB)

51. NYG- Brian Leonard FB(RUTG)

52. STL- Eric Wright CB(UNLV)

53. DAL- Quentin Moses DE(UGA)

54. KC- Chris Henry RB(ARI)

55. SEA- Josh Beekman OG(BC)

56. DEN- Ray McDonald DT(FLA)

57. PHI- David Harris ILB(MICH)

58. NO- Tanard Jackson CB(SYR)

59. NYJ- LaMarr Woodley DE(MICH)

60. Mia- Drew Stanton QB(MICH ST)

61. BAL- Justin Durant OLB(HAMPTON)

62. SD- Eric Weedle S(UTAH)

63. NYJ(F/CHI)- Ben Patrick TE(DELAWARE)

64. TB(F/IND)- Aaron Rouse S(Virginia Tech)

3RD ROUND

65. OAk- Ikaika Alama-Francis DE(HAW)

66. DET- Aaron Sears OT(TENN)

67. CLE- Dan Bazuin DE(CMICH)

68. TB- Daymeion Hughes CB(CAL)

69. ARI- Stewart Bradley OLB(NEB)

70. DEN(F/WAS)- Tony Hunt RB(PSU)

71. MIA- Marshal Yanda OG(IOWA)

72. MIN- Lorenzo Booker RB(FSU)

73. HOU- Steve Smith WR(USC)

74. BUF- Josh Wilson CB(MAR)

75. ATL- Michael Bush RB(LOU)

76. SF- Brandon Siler ILB(FLA)

77. PIT- Brian Robinson DE(TEX)

78. GB- Sabby Piscitelli WR(ORE ST)

79. JAX- Jason Hill WR(WSU)

-- CIN- Forfeited used on Ahmad Brooks

80. TEN- Fred Bennett CB(SCAR)

81. NYG- James Marten OT(BC)

82. STL- Ryan Harris OT(ND)

83. CAR- H.B. Blades ILB(PIT)

84. KC- Aundrae Allison WR(ECU)

85. SEA- Martrez Miller TE(UGA)

86. DEN- Josh Gattis S(WAKE)

87. DAL- Mason Crosby K(COL)

88. NO- Paul Williams WR(FRESNO)

89. NYJ- Turk McBride DT(TENN)

90. PHI- Dwayne Wright RB(Fresno)

91. NE- Doug Free OT(NIU)

92. BUF(F/BAL)- Jacoby Jones WR(LANE)

93. SD- Manuel Ramirez OG(TXTECH)

94. CHI- Quincy Black OLB(NEW MEX)

95. IND- Stephen Nicholas OLB(SFLA)

96. SD- Ryan McBean DT(OKST)

97. SF- Doug Datish C(OSU)

98. IND- Yamon Figurs WR(KSU)

99. OAK- Marcus Thomas DT(Former FLA)

*potential team to trade

Note:

And if you don't happen agree with my draft selections then you can take it up with my resident draft expert, Jacoby Mitchell. But he has strict hours, he doesn't take well to the light, obviously. Maybe i'm just biased, but I think he blows Mel Kiper's hair out of the water, notice the yellow baret and green headband. It's subtle touches like that, that really set a trend.

My Sports Talk's Mock Draft (Updated)

1. Oakland Raiders- JaMarcus Russell QB (LSU)

2. Detroit Lions- Brady Quinn QB (ND)

3. Cleveland Browns- Adrian Peterson RB (OU)

4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers- Calvin Johnson WR (GT)

5. Arizona Cardinals- Joe Thomas OT (WISC)

6. Washington Redskins- Gaines Adams DE (CLEM)

7. Minnesota Vikings- Jamaal Anderson DE (ARK)

8. Atlanta Falcons(f/HOU) - LaRon Landry S (LSU)

9. Miami Dolphins- Alan Branch DT (MICH)

10. Houston Texans(f/ATL)- Levi Brown OT (PSU)

11. San Francisco 49ers- Amobi Okoye DT (LOU)

12. Buffalo Bills- Marshawn Lynch RB (CAL)

13. St. Louis Rams- Patrick Willis ILB (MISS)

14. Carolina Panthers- Greg Olsen TE (MIA)

15. Pittsburgh Steelers- Adam Carricker DE (NEB)

16. Green Bay Packers- Ted Ginn Jr. WR (OSU)

17. Jacksonville Jaguars- Reggie Nelson S (FLA)

18. Cincinnati Bengals- Leon Hall CB (MICH)

19. Tennesse Titans- Dwayne Bowe WR (LSU)

20. New York Giants- Chris Houston CB (ARK)

21. Denver Broncos- Jarvis Moss DE/LB (FLA)

22. Dallas Cowboys- Michael Griffin S (TEX)

23. Kansas City Chiefs- Dwayne Jarrett WR (USC)

24. New England Patriots(f/SEA)- Paul Posluszny OLB (PSU)

25. New York Jets- Darrell Revis CB (PITT)

26. Philadelphia Eagles- Jon Beason OLB (MIA)

27. New Orleans Saints- Aaron Ross CB (TEX)

28. New England Patriots- Brian Leonard FB/RB (RUTG)

29. Baltimore Ravens- Anthony Spencer DE/LB (PUR)

30. San Diego Chargers- Robert Meachem WR (TENN)

31. Chicago Bears- Joe Staley OT (C.MICH)

32. Indianapolis Colts- Justin Harrell DT (TENN)

My Sports Talk's Mock Draft : Updated

1st Round

1. Oakland Raiders- JaMarcus Russell QB (LSU)

2. Detroit Lions- Joe Thomas OT (WISC)

3. Cleveland Browns- Adrian Peterson RB (OU)

4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers- Calvin Johnson WR (GT)

5. Arizona Cardinals- Gaines Adams DE (CLEM)

6. Washington Redskins- Alan Branch DT (MICH)

7. Minnesota Vikings- Jamaal Anderson DE (ARK)

8. Houston Texans- LaRon Landry S (LSU)

9. Miami Dolphins- Brady Quinn QB (ND)

10. Atlanta Falcons- Amobi Okoye DT (LOU)

11. San Francisco 49ers- Ted Ginn Jr. WR (OSU)

12. Buffalo Bills- Leon Hall CB (MICH)

13. St. Louis Rams- Adam Carriker DE (NEB)

14. Carolina Panthers- Levi Brown OT (PSU)

15. Pittsburgh Steelers- Jarvis Moss DE (FLA)

16. Green Bay Packers- Marshawn Lynch RB (CAL)

17. Jacksonville Jaguars- Darrell Revis CB (PITT)

18. Cincinnnati Bengals- Michael Griffin S (TEX)

19. Tennessee Titans- Dwayne Jarrett WR (USC)

20. New York Giants- Lawrence Timmons OLB (FSU)

21. Denver Broncos- Charles Johnson DE (UGA)

22. Dallas Cowboys- Aaron Ross CB (TEX)

23. Kansas City Chiefs- Sidney Rice WR (SCAR)

24. New England Patriots(f/SEA)- Dwayne Bowe WR (LSU)

25. New York Jets- Chris Houston CB (ARK)

26. Philadelphia Eagles- Patrick Willis ILB (MISS)

27. New Orleans Saints- Paul Posluszny OLB (PSU)

28. New England Patriots- Marcus McCauley CB (FRESNO)

29. Baltimore Ravens- Anthony Spencer DE (PUR)

30. San Diego Chargers- Robert Meachem WR (TENN)

31. Chicago Bears- Greg Olsen TE (MIA)

32. Indianapolis Colts- Justin Harrell DT (TENN)

My Sports Talk's Mock Draft.

1st Round

1. Oakland Raiders- JaMarcus Russell QB (LSU)

2. Detroit Lions- Joe Thomas OT (WISC)

3. Cleveland Browns- Adrian Peterson RB (OU)

4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers- Calvin Johnson WR (GT)

5. Arizona Cardinals- Gaines Adams DE (CLEM)

6. Washington Redskins- Jamaal Anderson DE (ARK)

7. Minnesota Vikings- Ted Ginn Jr. WR (OSU)

8. Houston Texans- Levi Brown OT (PSU)

9. Miami Dolphins- Brady Quinn QB (ND)

10. Atlanta Falcons- LaRon Landry S (LSU)

11. San Francisco 49ers- Alan Branch DT (MICH)

12. Buffalo Bills- Leon Hall CB (MICH)

13. St. Louis Rams- Amobi Okoye DT (LOU)

14. Carolina Panthers- Reggie Nelson S (FLA)

15. Pittsburgh Steelers- Adam Carricker DE (NEB)

16. Green Bay Packers- Marshawn Lynch RB (CAL)

17. Jacksonville Jaguars- Darrell Revis CB (PITT)

18. Cincinnati Bengals- Michael Griffin S (TEX)

19. Tennessee Titans- Dwayne Jarrett WR (USC)

20. New York Giants- Lawrence Timmons OLB (FSU)

21. Denver Broncos- Charles Johnson DE (UGA)

22. Dallas Cowboys- Aaron Ross CB (TEX)

23. Kansas City Chiefs- Dwayne Bowe WR (LSU)

24. New England Patriots(f/SEA)- Robert Meachem WR (TENN)

25. New York Jets- Chris Houston CB (ARK)

26. Philadelphia Eagles- Patrick Willis ILB (MISS)

27. New Orleans Saints- Paul Posluszny OLB (PSU)

28. New England Patriots- Jarvis Moss DE/LB (FLA)

29. Baltimore Ravens- Quentin Moses DE/LB (UGA)

30. San Diego Chargers- Sidney Rice WR (SCAR)

31. Chicago Bears- Greg Olsen TE (MIA)

32. Indianapolis Colts- Jon Beason OLB (MIA)