Big Names getting Big Deals pt. 4

The Seahawks have to re-write history in order to sign Grant.

The Seattle Seahawks were content on not losing out on another highly touted free agent, and they were willing to pay in order to secure safety Deon Grant. The Seahawks and Grant agreed to a 6-year $30 million deal and included into the deal is a signing bonus that is certainly going to raise some eyebrows because it is being reported to have topped the $11.1 million given to Dallas Cowboy's safety, Roy Williams. If in deed it is higher than that then it would be the highest signing bonus given to a safety in NFL history.

Deon Grant is very athletic and durable, he has started in 96 consecutive games. He is also a very good coverage safety that will surely upgrade the Seahawks dismal secondary. The 6'2" 210 pound safety registered 60 tackles last season and 2 interceptions.

The Rams sign one of the best tight ends in football; and I find another reason to hate them.

The St.Louis Rams have agreed to terms with recently released tight end, Randy McMichael. It is a 3-year $11 million and includes a $3 million signing bonus. The craziest part of this deal is year-by-year breakdown. McMichael is an absolute bargain, he will be getting $1.5 million in 2007, $2.9 million in 2008 and $3.6 in 2009. And just think, the Miami Dolphins released him over the $3 million he was owed for a roster bonus. Meh!

hate all the Ram's players...in fact I like exactly 3 of them, well 4 now with the signing of I'm sure not many people that read this blog(all 3, not including Grandma) are unaware of my hatred for the St.Louis Rams. Well, it exists even though I am a resident of St.Louis(sadly) and it is partly because of the 1999-00' Super Bowl, when I was a fan of the Tennessee Titans(before they threw dirt in their great players such as Eddie George) and the Rams beat them by that 1 fucking yard. But that is a story for another time. Anyways I don't necessarily McMichael, I think Steven Jackson is a great runningback, Torry Holt is one of the best wide receivers I have had the pleasure of watching over the years and Marc Bulger is one of the most underrated quarterbacks in the league. But I hate Kurt Warner(even though he doesn't play there anymore) , I hate Mike "can't manage a game" Martz and I especially hate Mike Fucking Jones(no, not the rapper.)

I guess there is worse things than losing.

Here's a hell of a question. What's worse, losing the Super Bowl or receiving an anal thrashing on live television?

Now I may be wrong( I don't think I am) but I would say getting mounted while in the "fetal position" by a 250 lb man like he was in heat would be a hell of a lot worse than losing the Super Bowl.

If none of this is making sense to you, then maybe this will help. During the game on Sunday, Robert Mathis sacked Rex Grossman, nothing out of the ordinary there, right? At first, it was just a sack...but sadly it turned into something wrong, wrong and dirty.

See there, nothing out of the ordinary, just a very athletic sack. For most defensive players, the thrill of sacking a quarterback is enough and sacking a quarterback at a pivotal moment in the Super Bowl would be very full-filling for any player's career.But not for Robert Mathis. This great sack only fueled his lust for penetrating something other than the offensive line. And trust me, no amount of chop blocking could stop him when he has his eyes set on something.


As shown here, the "other thing penetrated" was Rex Grossman's fanny. Yes, Rex Grossman had his boyish innocence stripped from him faster than a stripper when she sees a Ben Frank...yeah...you know what i'm talking about. Seriously, try it sometime, just go to your local exotic dancing establishment(aka a titty bar) dangle a couple of dead presidents in front of Candy, Trixie or Bunny(all reasonable stripper names) and watch those panties drop. Anyways, as you see here, Rex is currently getting pounded like theirs no tomorrow. Poor Rex, he can close his eyes all he wants, but at the end of the day, he's still going to be known as the guy who got raped at the Super Bowl. Oh, and you may be wondering "Jay, why didn't Rex try to get away?", well he tried and he almost succeeded. That is until Mathis grabbed his shoulders, you know, for better leverage.

And just like that, Rex's horrible ordeal is over. Robert Mathis used him, abused him and then just left him there like he was a homeless hooker(when your done you can just drop them off anywhere). You got to give it to Rex, instead of sitting there and crying about it, he attempted to play it off by looking for his contacts(He doesn't even wear contacts), he is acting like he didn't have a heap of man love dished his way. I'm sure Rex will get over this incident, in due time but for now, if you see him in public, don't call out "Hey Rex, how's the ass feeling?", it's just embarrassing and in bad taste.

Don't feel too bad for him though, i'm sure he coped with his horrible Sunday by having drunken, angry sex with as many college girls he could.

Super Bowl XLI....Colts-29 Bears-17.

Let me first start off by saying congratulations to Jim Nantz and Phil Simms. Congrats on making the "biggest game" of the year seem like it was a pre-season game. This may have not been the most riveting or even slightly entertaining game but I don't really give a rat's ass about hearing that you both will be having an appearance on Criminal Minds after the game. Yeah, doesn't really pique my interest. Anyway, back onto the game.

The game started off with a bang much like the National Championship Game, when rookie sensation, Devin Hester returned the opening kickoff 92 yards for a touchdown. This was the first time in Super Bowl history that this has happened. After the quick score it was now Manning's turn to show what he could do. After a couple of incomplete passes, Manning finally completed one, only problem is it was to Clark Harris and Harris isn't a Colt. Indy's next drive faired much better when Peyton Manning found Reggie Wayne wide open for a 53 yard score. But on the extra point attempt, Hunter Smith did his best Tony Romo impersonation and bobbled the snap, resulting in a failed attempt.

Just a quick recap, Bears lead 7-6 and and Hurricane players lead 12-0. I think Davey went into cardiac arrest at this point, Peyton losing and two former cane's have done all the scoring.

1st Quarter

So after the touchdown to Wayne, on the kickoff, Adam Vinatieri decided that he was done kicking to Hester and well, it worked. Vinatieri kicked it to Gabe Reid, and he looked good...for the first 9 yards and then he ran into a wall that is known as Robert Mathis. Mathis caused the first of what turned out to be many turnovers. It was recovered by the Colts, who on the very first play after they had caused a fumble, fumbled themselves. Peyton Manning and Joseph Addai fumbled the hand off and it was recovered by Mark Anderson at the Bears 43 yard line. On the Bears first play, Rex Grossman handed it off to Thomas Jones, Jones was able to find running room and busted off a 52 yard run. Rex Grossman was able to capitalize with a 4 yard strike to Muhsin Muhammad for a touchdown. The Bears took a 14-6 lead at the end of the 1st quarter.

2nd Quarter

With the help of a couple of runs by Joseph Addai, Adam Vinatieri kicked a 29 yard field goal to cut the lead to 5. After another punt by the Bears, Peyton and the Colts took over again with great field position. Manning started the drive off with a 22 yard pass to Harrison and then a 17 yard pass to Dallas Clark. After that it was pretty much just steady running from Dominic Rhodes who capped off the drive with a 1 yard touchdown. The Colts took the lead for the first time, 16-14. After yet another punt by the Bears, the Colts were driving to what looked to be another score when Brandon Fletcher fumbled. It was recovered by Chicago but much like the first quarter, Rex Grossman fumbled the snap and it was recovered by Indianapolis. Vinatieri missed a field goal attempt as time expired and the two teams went into halftime with a 16-14 score.

3rd Quarter

On the first drive of the second half, it was clear that the Colts offense was content on sticking with the short passes and runs by their duo of runningbacks. On the 12 play drive, no play went over 8 yards, but it worked, Vinatieri was able to kick another FG, this time from 24 yards. Colts lead 19-14. After a 14 yard run by Thomas Jones and a 9 yard pass to Muhammad, Grossman was sacked two times in a row, the second thanks to another fumble. Anyways, the Bear punted once again and the Colts capitalized once again on the foot of Adam Vinatieri, a 20 yard field goal put Indy up 22-14. Another squib kick on the kickoff by the Colts set the Bears with good field position and this time, thanks to Thomas Jones, they were able to score. A Rob Gould 44 yard field goal cut the lead to 5 and that's the score that the teams ended the 3rd quarter with. 22-17.

4th Quarter

Chicago's defense held strong and forced the Colts to punt, but good ole Rex Grossman knew just what to do to kill a drive. He threw a "Pick-6" to Kelvin Hayden, a last second replacement for Nick Harper. Hayden returned the interception 56 yards and seemingly ended any chance for a rally by the Bears. But just to make sure that any hope for Chicago to make a comeback was dead and buried, Grossman threw another pick, this time to Bob Sanders. The game ended after Indy was able to drain every last second possible off the clock.

So that's that, the Colts and Peyton Manning finally win a Super Bowl. Now Manning can go down as the greatest quarterback to have ever played the game.

One last note, Peyton Manning won the MVP award for one reason, he's Peyton Manning. This game was won by the Colts running game. Dominic Rhodes and Joseph Addai combined for close to 200 hundred rushing yards and helped the Colt's offense hold the ball for an astounding 41 minutes. Brian Urlacher and the Bear's defense was so tired and is the main reason there were so many broken tackles, resulting in the 191 rushing yards the Colts put up. But with that said, Congratulations to Tony Dungy, there is no Coach in football that is as classy as Dungy is and no one deserves it more than he.

Super Bowl Live Blog.

Game over...Colts are victorious...29-17.

Time is just melting away, the Colts are going to win...and the MVP should be Dominic Rhodes and Joseph Addai. They both deserve it.

Well Thomas Jones just surpassed the 100 yard mark...goody.

The Bears defense decided it would be a good time to stop the run and the Colts punt.

Yet another Grossman interception, this one by Bob Sanders...this thing is over.

Rex Grossman just threw a pick-6. Colts 29-17.

An amazing diving catch by Marvin Harrison.

Finally daa Bears score...a FG by Gould...22-17 Colts.

Another FG for the Colts....22-14.

Long run by Dominic Rhodes, thanks to daa Bears allowing him to break tackles galore.

Sexy Rexy....yeah not so much. He gets sacked....then he then he awkward does somewhat of a Cart Wheel. Anyways, it leads to another Chicago punt.

Vinatieri with another FG....it makes it 19-14 Colts.

Joseph Addai is just running at will right now.

START OF THE SECOND HALF

Adam Vinatieri just missed a field goal...yes, that Adam. It's halftime, the Colts are leading 16-14.

Ok, that was a little weird. Peyton Manning just ran an option play. But I could've sworn that was an "athletic" play. What's Manning doing it for. Manning has the mobility of a dead walrus. But yet he finds running room.

Sexy Rexy...you dumbass, another sequence of back-to-back fumbles...Colts ball.

It was looking bad for the Bears, until Brandon Fletcher fumbled...recovered by daa Bears.

Touchdown Dominic Rhodes...2 yards out. Indy now leads 16-14.

The Colts are driving once again, they have it 1st & Goal at the Chicago 8.

Adam Vinatieri remains perfect as he hits yet another field goal. Daa Bears still lead 14-9.

Cedric Benson just came in and he fumbled...so far thats 3 fumbles already.

Thomas Jones, my MVP choice, just busted off a 52 yard run. Capped off by a Sexy Rexy touchdown throw to Mushin Muhammed. I can't believe I just said Sexy Rexy. Oh well.

Joseph Addai fumbled it on the very first play, recovered by rookie phenom, Mark Anderson.

The Colts decide to kick it away from Hester and well it worked. Gabe Reid received it and promptly fumbled it, Indy recovered it.

Hunter Smith did his best impression of Tony Romo and bobbled the snap. Bears still lead 7-6.

After trading punts, Peyton Manning found Reggie Wayne "WIDE OPEN" for a touchdown.

Well on 3rd & 12 Peyton does what he does best when it comes to the Playoffs...he throws a pick. Clark Harris was the lucky guy to receive Manning's first gift.

Well, the opening kickoff was just like the National Championship game, Devin Hester took it 96 yards for the touchdown. I am willing to put aside that Hester is a Cane, but just for today.

Super Bowl prediction...

I think Daa Bears are going to win, 24-21. Also my choice for the MVP is Thomas Jones. He will have 130 yards and 1 touchdown. Peyton Manning will have a good game but they Colts will fall short. I also think Devin Hester will have well over 150 return yards. The Colts are always horrible on kickoffs and I don't think much will change.