Monday, November 27, 2006

10 ways to ruin your Fantasy Football team.

10. Crack is a hell of a drug!

9. Never, under any circumstances, take my advice. Davey can verify that for you. He asked me if he should take Lee Evans, I said no, because he has J.P. Losman throwing to him. And he promptly goes for 265 yards and 2 TDs.

8. Never decline a trade with an insucure league manager. Ever since I declined his trade, I have been on a 5 game losing streak...coincidence...I think not.

7. Pre-Draft rankings/gameplans before you draft are stupid. If you are anything like me(if you are, i'm sorry.) I spent along time ranking my players, trying to get last second inside information...as soon as the draft started...I started sweating, stuttering and much like my performances in the bedroom, it just ended with crying, appolgizing and criticism about my decision making.(Sorry Amber, I thought you said you were into trying differant things)

6. When you are selecting a league to join, I would suggest joining a league that you know absolutely no one....it hurts less when a stranger insults you.

5. Small Leagues are better. I am in 2 leagues right now. The first one is a large league(16), my second league is small(6). Well if you are in a small league, the chances that you will get better players is much higher(unless your me. Then you get stuck with starting players that retired 6 years ago). If you are a fantasy guru, then go for the big leagues...if you are like me, then you are asked to just quit while you are ahead.

4. Don't always believe the "experts". "Don't take Brees, he can't throw, take Daunte, he can scramble".Some of these guys know about as much about football as I do about strip aerobics.( I only took 3 classes)

3. Don't be a homer. If all you do is draft your favorite players then you will be spending alot of time at the bottom of the barrell. I should know, Akili Smith is getting me shit.

2. Check you teams daily!!! I neglected to this week and...well..anytime your bench out scores your starting lineup, well you got a problem.

1. The number one way you can ruin your fantasy football team is.....drumroll please...Pass up LaDainian Tomlison for Shaun Alexander. I neglected to take into consideration that Alexander lost his best offensive lineman, Steve Hutchinson, I wasn't worried about the Madden curse, and I neglected LT's greatness. I don't care who is available, if LT is there TAKE HIM!!!!!

2 comments:

Davey said...

Akili's giving you more than I'm getting from Tony Banks...

Jay said...

hahahahaha....yessir, we rock at fantasy football...up top (everyone just looks down and shakes their head because i just asked them for a high five, which is used about as much as Shannon Sharpe uses his inside voice.)