Well it's almost that time....

Well it's almost that time. I am going to be turning 18 next month and I have been told....several times that it's about damn time I find a job. Well I wouldn't go as far as saying I have any job "skills" or actually any skills at all.(unless being able to leave cops and doctors speechless...I decided it would be a brilliant idea to be the first person to race a vacuum cleaner naked inside of a jiffy lube...long story short it ended with 8 stitches on my no-no part, a broken fibula and 10 years of thearpy.)

I have it narrowed down to potential career paths for myself.


1. Professional Chipmunk Wrangler

Now I know some of you may be wondering what exactly a PCW is. Well it's only the coolest most awesomest job there is and I get to wear that sweet ass uniform. Basically you sit in this truck and you wait until you see these little demons come out from their lairs to cause all sorts of shenanigans.(including shoving nuts that don't belong to them in their mouths....no not those nuts...get your mind out of the gutter...purposly getting people to mistake them for soft and cuddely squirrels and then when you try to pet them they steal your rings, bite you and run away like little bitches....and I want my justice friends ring back, it took me 312 boxtops to get it) Anyway, when they come out, you gotta "wrangle them up and put them in cages and sell them to this weird guy...I don't know what he does with them, but i'm sure it's nothing mean or strange.


2. Eater for the Bulimic

I doubt this profession exists....yet. But hey, I figure they have readers for the blind so I could eat for a bulimic person...I could sing them songs as I eat their strudels and cupcakes. Of course I don't want to become hideoulsy overweight so I may have to think about that one.








3. Hooker

If all else fails, do what my great great great grandmother says to do.....hook. But I would have to learn how to run from cops in 4 inch heels, while trying to hold on to money and keep my skirt on....speaking of skirts, does this skirt make my hips look big?

Well with these options...I can look forward to an interesting 2007.