I'm a little late on this story, seeing as how it started making rounds yesterday, but since I was posting useless shit that I missed it. Apparently a rather busty Duke student felt that she needed to send an email to former Duke standout and current NBA All-Star, Elton Brand and tell him that he isn't respected by the fans of Duke because of his decision to leave school early for the NBA. And, well this wouldn't be near as entertaining had he not replied to her. Which he did, with the utmost dignity and grace.
From: Taylor, Jennifer
Sent: Friday, April 16, 1999 2:55 PM
To: Brand, Elton
Subject: Leaving Duke
I graduated from Duke last May and just wanted to express my disgust for your decision to leave the Duke program after only two years. As an alum, not only do I hold the school in high regard, but the basketball program as well, especially since both have deservedly garnered such a great deal of respect for their accomplishments.
As part of our basketball program, you represent Duke as a whole. We are first and foremost an academic school, you clearly did not belong at Duke in the first place if this was the extent of your commitment to Duke and a college education in general. You have not only insulted the current students who are putting in four years at a school they love, but also the thousands of alumni who have realized the value of a Duke education and what an honor and privilege it was to be there for four years.
If you do not realize the opportunity you has infront of you to play for Coach K and at the same time attain a Duke diploma, then that is certainly your loss. I just wish that you has spared us the notion that you were continuing in the tradition of being a Duke student-athlete, in emphasizing excellence in both academics and athletics. You will not be considered part of the Duke family, in my mind as well as many others. You have by no means proved yourself worthy of that title.
From: Elton Tyron Brand
Sent: Sunday, April 25, 1999 8:05 PM
To: Taylor, Jennifer
Subject: Re: Leaving Duke
Thank you very much, for reminding me of the reason why I left Duke. People like you can not and will not ever understand my situation. I'm sure daddy worked very hard to send your rich self to college. While real people struggle. I would also like to extend an invitation for you not to waste your or my time ever again. Never being considered a part of your posh group of yuppies really hurts me to the heart. Yeah, right. Because I don't care about you or your alumni.
Sincerely, Elton Brand #42 NBAFirst of all, this girl is obviously a stuck up bitch and it serves her right for getting put in her place by Brand and I absolutely love the fact that he signed his letter as "#42 NBA"...awesome! And if you needed more proof to how much of a bitch this Jennifer Taylor is, Sports by Brooks has a post about her with her slamming the "Cameron Crazies" and Josh McRoberts. Here's what she said:
Boobs McShelden (pictured): "I'd say we're the three most attractive girls at Duke, there's not a big selection. ... The Cameron Crazies sit in the student section, the VIPs (like them) sit in the behind-the-family section. ... They (Cameron Crazies) camp out like refugees, it's ridiculous."
Juggs McShelden Shoe Leather Friend #1: "We don't tent for tickets, I go to will call (laughs)."
When Chesty McShelden is asked about her ticket "hook-up" she responds with faux protestation, "I don't like the word 'hook-up' ... I would say 'friends', we have various 'friends' on the team."
Saggy McShelden then delivers a parting shot on Josh McRoberts (who obviously doesn't leave tickets for passed-around ... felines): "I think he's the only person ever leaving Duke early where people weren't sad."
"(Following jumpcut where Melons McShelden obviously begged camera crew to add on a conciliatory comment from her) Nothing personal Josh, I have class with you, I have to see you!
Also see this story on Awful Announcing, Sports by Brooks and Sea of Blue.