Thursday, June 28, 2007

NOBODY FUCKS WITH WAYNE NEWTON!! / NBA Mock Draft

What do you know it appears as thought the NBA Draft is literally right around the corner and to be honest besides a few mock drafts and this long ass breakdown I watched earlier today on ESPN I can't say with certainly what will go down tomorrow.

It's not like I've been doing nothing, I mean I've been chasing a Wayne Newton impersonator for the past two months. Ok this might sound pointless, long and all around a waste of time and you will soon find out that it is. But anyway about two months ago I was walking through a grocery store with my cousins and my aunt and I happen to see a guy who looked exactly like Wayne Newton. So like the fucking loser I am, I lost my shit and started yelling phrases that would make Samuel L. Jackson deem inappropriate. To get the gist of what I mean, I randomly started shouting "IT'S FUCKING WAYNE NEWTON"...I asked for an autograph then after being turn downed I acted bitter and coined the phrase "Nobody Fucks With Wayne Newton". Yes, you've heard it here first, "nobody fucks with Wayne Newton" was thought of by yours truly. Now it's not like anyone else has heard this yelled except the twenty or thirty customers that were unfortunately in the produce isle when my little "scene" started and one very confused 50+ year old man with a perfect jet black afro.

But anyways, I was in Quicktrip getting gas and a drink when I went up to the register to pay and I shit you not, who is standing before me? Non other than Wayne "fucking" Newton(for legal reasons I'll say the impersonator). So once again I lose my shit and yell "Wayne Fucking Newton" right in front of three cops, cause apparently quicktrip doubles as a police sub station or some shit....so yes he takes one look at me and says "oh god not again" and makes a run for the door. I didn't follow, well because that would've been rude and you know me, I'm all about the manners. So I payed for my shit along with awkward stares from the quicktrip guy and a few customers and I walk outside and give one last "Nobody Fucks with Wayne Newton" before I get in the truck and make my triumphant departure. Yes I live an exciting life.

Anyhoo...back to what this post was oringally about, the NBA Draft, I'm going to do what I do when every draft comes up and present to you with the My Sports Talk Mock Draft...so here it is.

1. Portland Trailblazers- Greg Oden C (OSU)

2. Seattle Supersonics- Kevin Durant F (TEX)

3. Atlanta Hawks- Al Horford F/C (FLA)

4. Memphis Gizzlies- Mike Conley Jr PG (OSU)

5. Boston Celtics- Corey Brewer G/F (FLA)

6. Milwaukee Bucks- Jeff Green G/F (G-TOWN)

7. Minnesota Timberwolves- Joakim Noah PF (FLA)

8. Charlotte Bobcats- Brandan Wright PF (UNC)

9. Chicago Bulls- Yi Jianlian PF (CHINA)

10. Sacramento Kings- Al Thornton F (FSU)

11. Atlanta Hawks- Acie Law IV PG (TEX A&M)

12. Philadelphia 76ers- Julian Wright PF (KAN)

13. New Orleans Hornets- Nick Young SG (USC)

14. Los Angeles Clippers- Javaris Crittenton G (GT)

15. Detroit Pistons- Rodney Stuckey PG (EMICH)

16. Washington Wizards- Jason Smith PF (CSU)

17. New Jersey Nets- Spencer Hawes C (WASH)

18. Golden State Warriors- Sean Williams PF (BC)

19. Los Angeles Lakers- Rudy Fernandez SG (DKV Joventut)

20. Miami Heat- Thaddeus Young SG (GT)

21. Philadelphia 76ers- Tiago Splitter F (TAU Vitoria)

22. Charlotte Bobcats- Daequan Cook SG (OSU)

23. New York Knicks- Wilson Chandler F (DePaul)

24. Phoenix Suns- Marco Belinelli SG (Climamio Bologna)

25. Utah Jazz- Morris Almond G/F (Rice)

26. Houston Rockets- Nick Fazekas F/C (NEV)

27. Detroit Pistons- Derrick Byars F (VANDY)

28. San Antonio- Jared Dudley F (BC)

29. Phoenix Suns- Petteri Koponen PG (Honka Playboys) GREATEST FUCKING NAME EVER!

30. Philadelphia 76ers- Josh McRoberts F/C (DUKE) Fuck them!

3 comments:

Davey said...

The Honka Playboys!

Jay said...

Hell yeah man...we can't really overlook the "Climamio Bologna"...

"my bologna has a first name"....etc...i'm not even sure if that's the way it goes..oh well...

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