NOBODY FUCKS WITH WAYNE NEWTON!! / NBA Mock Draft

What do you know it appears as thought the NBA Draft is literally right around the corner and to be honest besides a few mock drafts and this long ass breakdown I watched earlier today on ESPN I can't say with certainly what will go down tomorrow.

It's not like I've been doing nothing, I mean I've been chasing a Wayne Newton impersonator for the past two months. Ok this might sound pointless, long and all around a waste of time and you will soon find out that it is. But anyway about two months ago I was walking through a grocery store with my cousins and my aunt and I happen to see a guy who looked exactly like Wayne Newton. So like the fucking loser I am, I lost my shit and started yelling phrases that would make Samuel L. Jackson deem inappropriate. To get the gist of what I mean, I randomly started shouting "IT'S FUCKING WAYNE NEWTON"...I asked for an autograph then after being turn downed I acted bitter and coined the phrase "Nobody Fucks With Wayne Newton". Yes, you've heard it here first, "nobody fucks with Wayne Newton" was thought of by yours truly. Now it's not like anyone else has heard this yelled except the twenty or thirty customers that were unfortunately in the produce isle when my little "scene" started and one very confused 50+ year old man with a perfect jet black afro.

But anyways, I was in Quicktrip getting gas and a drink when I went up to the register to pay and I shit you not, who is standing before me? Non other than Wayne "fucking" Newton(for legal reasons I'll say the impersonator). So once again I lose my shit and yell "Wayne Fucking Newton" right in front of three cops, cause apparently quicktrip doubles as a police sub station or some shit....so yes he takes one look at me and says "oh god not again" and makes a run for the door. I didn't follow, well because that would've been rude and you know me, I'm all about the manners. So I payed for my shit along with awkward stares from the quicktrip guy and a few customers and I walk outside and give one last "Nobody Fucks with Wayne Newton" before I get in the truck and make my triumphant departure. Yes I live an exciting life.

Anyhoo...back to what this post was oringally about, the NBA Draft, I'm going to do what I do when every draft comes up and present to you with the My Sports Talk Mock Draft...so here it is.

1. Portland Trailblazers- Greg Oden C (OSU)

2. Seattle Supersonics- Kevin Durant F (TEX)

3. Atlanta Hawks- Al Horford F/C (FLA)

4. Memphis Gizzlies- Mike Conley Jr PG (OSU)

5. Boston Celtics- Corey Brewer G/F (FLA)

6. Milwaukee Bucks- Jeff Green G/F (G-TOWN)

7. Minnesota Timberwolves- Joakim Noah PF (FLA)

8. Charlotte Bobcats- Brandan Wright PF (UNC)

9. Chicago Bulls- Yi Jianlian PF (CHINA)

10. Sacramento Kings- Al Thornton F (FSU)

11. Atlanta Hawks- Acie Law IV PG (TEX A&M)

12. Philadelphia 76ers- Julian Wright PF (KAN)

13. New Orleans Hornets- Nick Young SG (USC)

14. Los Angeles Clippers- Javaris Crittenton G (GT)

15. Detroit Pistons- Rodney Stuckey PG (EMICH)

16. Washington Wizards- Jason Smith PF (CSU)

17. New Jersey Nets- Spencer Hawes C (WASH)

18. Golden State Warriors- Sean Williams PF (BC)

19. Los Angeles Lakers- Rudy Fernandez SG (DKV Joventut)

20. Miami Heat- Thaddeus Young SG (GT)

21. Philadelphia 76ers- Tiago Splitter F (TAU Vitoria)

22. Charlotte Bobcats- Daequan Cook SG (OSU)

23. New York Knicks- Wilson Chandler F (DePaul)

24. Phoenix Suns- Marco Belinelli SG (Climamio Bologna)

25. Utah Jazz- Morris Almond G/F (Rice)

26. Houston Rockets- Nick Fazekas F/C (NEV)

27. Detroit Pistons- Derrick Byars F (VANDY)

28. San Antonio- Jared Dudley F (BC)

29. Phoenix Suns- Petteri Koponen PG (Honka Playboys) GREATEST FUCKING NAME EVER!

30. Philadelphia 76ers- Josh McRoberts F/C (DUKE) Fuck them!

Random picture time

I'm going to try something a little new here, well everyone knows I do the whole "random video time" and Davey and I have been known to bust out the "Fun with Google" posts every now and then so i'm going to do something similar right here and have a random picture. Sure it's not very inventive but I figure it's a good way to give proper respects to the guys over at SI.com and their awesome and often hilarious photo galleries. Davey scored big with a hilarious post when I got my "absolute final copy" of Sports Illustarted( I swear to God I canceled my subscription like a year and a half ago yet I still get them) and he posted a rather disturbing image of a Mexican luchador in a pink too-too complete with a pink mohawk.

But anyway here's a picture of Philadelphia Phillie's shortstop, Jimmie Rollins getting his face caved in by a pitch from Cleveland Indian's starter, Cliff Lee. Enjoy, because being a Braves fan, I know I did.

Chipper and Smoltz make up...hopefully we'll start winning

As many may have noticed, i haven't been posting too much as of late, sure me moving was a very big part, but even more so was the fact that it's been embarrassing to be a Braves fan right now. I mean it's not just the fact that they're losing, we're getting humiliated, shut out like every day. It's very disheartening. And when news broke a few days ago that my two favorite players, and our two leaders were fighting, well let's just say it was the icing on the cake.

Apparently Chipper Jones and John Smoltz were taking their frustrations out on each other, mostly caused by losing im sure, and well Smoltz talked to the media and kind of insinuated that he wished Chipper would play more and maybe his injuries were as bad as it seemed. Well Chipper, obviously didn't take this well and fired back at Smoltz through the media too. Words were exchanged for about two days but I highly doubt fisticuffs ensued.

But after the two days of going at each other through the media, Chipper, Smoltz and Bobby Cox sat down, face-to-face and worked out their problems. So all seems to be fine in Atlanta, well you know except for the whole shitting themselves every night thing.

"Total misunderstanding," said Smoltz, making a brief comment to the media and not taking questions. "It's over with. There won't be a problem the rest of the time we're teammates."

Jones was more verbose. He said he apologized to Smoltz for his reaction to what he thought was Smoltz singling him out for sitting out Friday's game.

"Obviously there was a misunderstanding and I apologized to him for my comments in [Saturday's] interviews," Jones said. "He assured me that he wasn't singling me out. And that was pretty much it."

More comments from the two after the jump to the AJC.

I think it's safe to say who WON'T be winning the man of the year

After getting pulled over by police in Arizona just three days ago, the Chicago Bears have released defensive tackle, Tank Johnson. Johnson who had been released from jail after spending two months in prison for gun charges that were filed after police raided his home and found a plethora(ha now I feel smart for saying "plethora") of guns. Two days after the raid, Johnson's bodyguard and close friend was shot and killed at a night club that the two men had attended.

"We are upset and embarrassed by Tank's actions last week," general manager Jerry Angelo said in a statement. "He compromised the credibility of our organization. We made it clear to him that he had no room for error. Our goal was to help someone through a difficult period in his life, but the effort needs to come from both sides. It didn't, and we have decided to move on."

Johnson had already been suspended for the first eight games of the season after having a meeting with the NFL's new commissioner, Roger Goodell. Johnson told Goodell that he wouldn't have anymore run ins with the police and he had intentions on winning the NFL's Man of the Year which goes to the player that shows excellent behavior on and off the field. I think it's pretty safe to say good ole Tank won't be taking that award home anytime soon.

Kimbo Slice is still a beast!

Kimbo Slice, of internet fame for his brutal streetfights, all of which i've seen quite all the critics last night when he defeated a former olympic gold medalist in a mixed martial arts bout. Kimbo defeated Ray Mercer by way of submission when Kimbo chocked out the former heavyweight champion in the first round. It took him just a minute and a half to get his first career victory.

"Kimbo was the heavy crowd favorite, with fans erupting as he was announced in the ring. The fight was over pretty quick, Kimbo going for a takedown in the early going and took Mercer down. Mercer made it back up where Kimbo began to land knees and began to engage Mercer with punches until coming off with a double leg and placing him in a guillotine choke to make him tap for the submission win at 1:12 of the first round.

The exhibition paid both fighters $50,000, Kimbo received an additional $25,000 for winning and $10,000 for making Mercer tap. Mercer looked every bit his age in the ring."

Like I said before, i'm a big fan of Kimbo and his street fights, the guy is a tank, no question about and now that he's proven that he's not just a brawler, that he can actually compete against "real fighters", I think he's going to be a force to be reckoned with for years to come, I just hope he gets into the UFC soon.

Here's the video from last night's fight.

Look out John McGraw....heeeere's Bobby

During the ninth inning of yet another loss by the Atlanta Braves, Braves manager, Bobby Cox was ejected for the 131st time tying him with John McGraw for the all-time record. Cox was ejected after coming to the aid of Braves catcher, Brian McCann, who had been ejected moments before for arguing a called third strike with home umpire Chad Fairchild. And just like Bobby he wasn't concerned with the record in the least bit.

"He was our only [bleeping] catcher we had left," said Cox, who had used backup catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia as a pinch-hitter.

The Braves went on to lose the game, 2-1 as the Detroit Tiger's flamethrower, Justin Verlander lived up to his name with improving to 9-2 on the season and throwing 100+ MPH late in the game. Chipper Jones, who hit his 13th homerun, which leads the team, on the season was amazed with Verlander's velocity.
"My god, that guy's throwing 100 miles an hour in the sixth inning," Jones said. "You're not going to mount much against him. It's really tough for the best hitters in baseball to put that in play consistently."

And on a side note, Andruw Jones continues to piss me off more than I thought was possible, as his batting average has officially fallen under the "Mendoza line" which is .200. Druw is hitting .198 with 11 homeruns and 42 RBIs. Shit who knows maybe this is a blessing in disguise, seeing as how him sucking is a huge understatement and this being his contract year, maybe we can afford to re-sign him now. But then again maybe we'll still end up trading him, to the whitesox possibly...

Also see this story on the Fanhouse and AJC.com

Finally a trade...too bad it won't have that much impact

Finally a post

According to many sites, the Braves have acquired left-handed pitcher, Wilfredo Ledezma from the Detroit Tigers in exchange for left-handed pitcher, Macay McBride. I don't really know what this does for the Braves because the pitchers are both having similar seasons...but maybe a change of scenery will do them both some good.

Site News: I once again underachieve

I really apologize for not posting right now, but i'm still very busy trying to get everything settled in among other things. But I'll try my best to get some posts up as soon as possible.

Site News: Update

Just a little site news for ya, I'm still trying to get settled in my new house but I'll try and get a post up sometime tomorrow afternoon.

--Rotunda from Down Unda aka: Jay

Update within an Update: I saw Fantastic Four today and Jessica Alba was amazing....holy shitt she looked good...oh and the movie wasn't bad either.

I've been tagged....

Oh joy, It appears as though I've been tagged by my "good friend" Davey over at Blowncoverage. And no we weren't playing the game tag, his Mom wouldn't let him come outside...it's this new thing that bloggers are doing, where they tag someone and that person has to write a post about books.

I'm off to kind of a bad start seeing as how I have the reading level of a llama. So I'm just going to cheat and change it from books to movies, because well I honestly haven't read to many books as of late the only one being "The Blind Side: Evolution of a Game" by Michael Lewis and it's a great read. So here is my version...

1. One movie That Changed Your Life:

I don't know if I've seen a movie that has changed my life, but "Blood Diamond" really opened up my eyes to something that I really didn't know about. I mean sure, I knew that that type of thing was happening but I couldn't even imagine the magnitude of what those people were and still are going through. "Catch a Fire" falls along that same category.

2. One movie that you’ve seen more than once: (to the left)

"Fight Club", I love that movie and I've seen it at least five times, it's great.

3. One movie you would want on a desert island:

Well, this won't apply here because I would have to have electricity, and a dvd player, so just for shits and giggles I'll just say "Grandma's Boy". The movie is hilarious and it would at least give me a good laugh before my lonely and slow death.

4. One movie that made you laugh:

Damn, only one...ok well I guess I'll go with "The Boondock Saints". It's not really a comedy, it's more of a thriller I guess, but it has a lot of comedic scenes. And it's a great movie in general, except of course the scene where Willem Dafoe is in drag...

5. One movie that made you cry: (to the left)

Fuck it, I'll admit I may have had something in my eye...aka I shed a tear...during"I am Sam"...it's about a mentally retarded man who is fighting to keep custody of his 7-year-old daughter. It stars one of my favorite actors, Sean Penn and he does a great job as always.


6. One movie you wish had been written:

Oh, I don't know something involving Jessica Alba, a rabid lemur and lots of over dramatic slow motion running sequences and a flurry of devastating roundhouse kicks from non other than Chuck Norris. Make it happen Scorsese...i'll be waiting for my check.

7. One movie you wish had never been written:

"Kazaam"...Shaquille O'Neal..playing a genie...enough said.

8. One movie you’ve recently watched: (to the left)

The most recent movie I've seen in theaters was "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End". I personally thought it was way better than the second one, and I really liked it. And plus...it had Keira Knightley in it, need I say more?

9. One movie you’ve been meaning to see:

"The Shawshank Redemption", according to IMDB, it's the second greatest movie of all-time, yet I've only seen parts of it. I really got watch it.

10. Six people to tag:

Yeah, I can't really think of anyone to do, so I'll keep it short...

Mac Thomason of the Braves Journal

Jay Busbee of Sports Gone South

Oprah Winfrey of FUCKING EVERYTHING!

William Shatner of what's he been doing lately?

That's all folks, I won't be posting for a day or two because tomorrow is moving day for me, I'm finally moving out...

This is just another excuse to confess my love to Jessica Alba

Thanks to SI.com and ESPN, I get another chance to talk about the lovely goddess known as Jessica Alba and my weird and somewhat off putting obsession with her. Last night I was able to catch the last 30 seconds of the Budweiser Hot Seat on ESPN and the guest was Jessica Alba...I missed the first part because I was watching the greatest show of all-time, the Chappelle show, so yeah.

And then today while I was on SI.com, I noticed they had Jessica Alba on the "Extra Mustard" column so I went to check it out and apparently Ms. Alba is a supporter for the UCLA Bruins and according to Bruins Nation, and me that's way better than having Snoop Dogg, although he's a great rapper and was funny on Wild & Out, another show I watched last night, he's got nothing on Jessica.

Case and Point:

Snoop Dogg vs Jessica Alba

Enough said...

Random video time: Top 10 awkward sports interviews

I think it's about time for another addition of random video, this latest one is a Top Ten list of the most awkward sports interviews of all-time.



And the number one, as i'm sure you all know, helped create a hilarious sports blog called "Kissing Suzy Kolber".

And just for shits and giggles here's my favorite scene from "Accepted"...



UPDATE: To keep up with the men screaming like 4-year old girls, here's a hilarious clip of a man, oh about 45 on a rollercoaster losing all of his dignity in about a minute...good shitt

Houston and Minnesota agree to a trade

ESPN's Marc Stein is reporting that the Houston Rockets have agreed to trade forward, Juwan Howard to the Minnesota Timberwolves in exchange for point guard, Mike James.

"We expect for the deal to be officially consummated as early as tomorrow," James' agent, Billy Duffy told Houston television station KRIV.

James is hopeful the deal will happen.

"Even Houston thinking about me is a blessing but until I see it on the ticker I won't believe it. I'm so excited. It would give me that chance to retire in Houston," James told the television station.

I suppose this is the NBA's way of getting back into the headlines because the finals have sucked so far, and with the Spurs already up 3-0, a sweep looks like it will happen.

Braves activate Chipper Jones from the DL, but still lose

The Atlanta Braves activated third baseman, Chipper Jones from the disabled list. Jones was originally put on the DL after a nasty collision on May 11th with Pirates' third baseman, Jose Bautista. Jones landed hard on both wrists and his shoulder and was down for some time, but he was able to stay in the game. He didn't play much after that and the Braves were eventually forced to put him on the DL with bruised wrists.

In his place, rookie Yunel Escobar shined and really upped his trade value, if we are to trade, which many people believe we are. Chipper was activated today and was in the lineup against the Minnesota Twins. Bobby Cox decided to let Chipper DH that way he could rest and still keep his bat in the lineup.

Chipper was great as he went 3-4, but sadly the Braves as a whole were not. We lost to Carlos Silva, who just became a father, and the Twins, 6-0 and it will be awfully difficult to avoid the sweep as the Twins will have Johan Santana on the mound tomorrow, but luckily we have Tim Hudson so hopefully he's the good Huddy and we don't get swept.

A's give Billy Beane a 7-year extension

After leading the Oakland Athletics to four division titles since 2000, the A's have rewarded their very hard working general manager, Billy Beane with a seven-year contract extenstion announced just moments ago. The team's president, Michael Crowley also received a seven-year extension from A's owner and managing partner Lew Wolff, who lauded both men for their work with the club.

"Mike and Billy were my first free agent signings and both continue to demonstrate their talents as two of the finest executives in the sports industry today," Wolff said in a statement. "I am very pleased their relationship with the A's will continue during one of the most exciting and important times in our team's history."

The financial situation in Oakland, which saw them watch big name players like Barry Zito, Miguel Tejada, Jason Giambi, Tim Hudson(Yes!), Mark Mulder are among others, almost chased Beane out of Oakland back in 2003 when Boston offered him their general manager position. But Beane opted to stay in Oakland and was given a lucrative extension in 2005 when Wolff bought the team.

Beane's innovative approach that focuses on developing talent from the farm system and unique methods of scouting and player evaluation was the subject of the best-selling book "Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game." Which I haven't read yet, but Davey has been raving about it for weeks.

Minor-league team wants you to pull a "Billy D"

On June 20th, the Fort Myers Miracle, a Single-A minor league baseball team in Florida, will be hosting a "Billy Donovan Night" to poke fun at the fact that he backed out of his deal with the Orland Magic last week.

Just like Donovan escaped his five-year, $27.5 million contract with the Magic, fans can try and negotiate their way out of their ticket purchase.

"It's something to waffle about," said Andrew Seymour, assistant general manager and promotions director for the Miracle. "If you're not seeing entertainment, you can opt out of your contract."

The contract, in this case, is the ticket. Fans will have up to the first three innings to restructure their deal, but even that's negotiable.

The price of the ticket, the seat location and even a buyout can be arranged. Part of the negotiating process will involve making a free throw.

James Toney just can't get enough of the roids'

Three-time champion, James Toney tested positive for two different types of steroids after his victory over Danny Batchelder, who also tested positive for two different types as well. This is the second time that Toney's test have came back positive and it could mean a one-year suspension from boxing.

"Toney tested positive for boldenone and stanazolol, and Batchelder tested positive for stanazolol and oxandolone, Garcia said. If they don't appeal, the boxers would be suspended one year from the date of their fight."

Despite both fighters testing positive, the California State Athletic Commission's executive officer, Armando Garcia said that the fight will still count. Toney won the fight with a split decision and his impressive yet tainted record improved to 70-6-3 with 43 knockouts while Batchelder's now stands at 25-5-1 with 12 knockouts.

The first time Toney tested for steroids was two years ago when he tested positive for nandrolone, and it cost him a victory over WBC heavyweight champion John Ruiz. That fight was ruled a "no-contest".

Adibi and Hall are named to Nagurski Watch List

NOTE: This is taken from my other site, shared with Davey, HokiesandCanes.com.

Virginia Tech’s immensely talented and part-time superhero’s, Xavier Adibi and Vince Hall have been named to the 2007 Bronko Nagurski Watch List.

Virginia Tech senior linebackers Xavier Adibi and Vince Hall have been named to the 2007 Bronko Nagurski Watch List, as announced Tuesday by the Football Writers Association of America (FWAA).

The award, which is given to the best defensive player in college football, is sponsored by the Charlotte Touchdown Club.

I’ve made my feelings for these two young men known on my other establishment and nothing has changed, I think they are the best linebacking duo in college football and I belive they will both be first round draft picks in 2008. And no that is just me being biased, as usual, you can ask anyone with slight knowledge of ACC football and they will tell you just how good these two linebackers are. Adibi is the speedy, great against the run and pass outside linebacker while Hall is the devastating hitter at middle linebacker that always seems to be around the ball. Take your pick, or they’ll make you regret it.

Oh and if you wanted to see if one, or two in my case, your favorite players made this list, here’s the complete rundown of all the players selected.

Dale Earnhardt Jr to join Hendrick Motorsports next season

Dale Earnhardt Jr has decided to join Hendrick Motorsports starting next season after he was granted his release a few weeks ago by DEI, the team his late father started.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. is joining Hendrick Motorsports, hopefully moving one step closer to a championship that has eluded him while driving for his late father's company.

Rick Hendrick said Earnhardt will replace Kyle Busch on his star-studded roster of drivers. The announcement Wednesday ended five weeks of recruiting for NASCAR's most popular driver, who became a free agent May 10 when he said he would leave DEI at the end of this season.

His criteria for a new team included finding a place he could win championships, and Hendrick is the perfect fit. Hendrick has won six championships, and has 10 wins through 14 points races this season.

"It became apparent to me the man I wanted to drive for,'' Earnhardt said at a news conference. "He competes with integrity and most importantly, he wins races ... So today, it is with great honor to introduce my new boss for 2008, Mr. Rick Hendrick.''

I have to say I know nothing about Nascar, so I'm not going to go indepth on this but I will say from what I saw on ESPN this morning, Hendrick Motorsports is like the New York Yankees(imagine that, ESPN mentioning the Yankees even though it has nothing to do with the subject) by the way they have so many big name stars such as Jeff Gordon, Jimmie Johnson, Casey Mears and now Earnhardt.

Well shit, looks like Chris Henry is going to be banned for life

Right after Cincinnati Bengal's widereciever, Chris Henry, received his eight-game ban from the NFL's new commisoner, Roger Goodell, he was told that if he had anymore run ins with the law he would then receive a lifetime ban from the NFL.

Well, it looks like that ban will happen, if the latest allegations that Henry, along with teammate, Reggie McNeal, were involved in assaulting a 16-year old boy late last Friday night.

"Police say the 16-year-old and an 18-year-old friend were walking along Wetherington Boulevard near Mt. Zion Road just after 11 p.m. Friday night when, they say a black Navigator or Escalade pulled up next to them.

According to the police report, a white male jumped out and started punching the 16-year-old in the face.

"From that, the victim tells us another gentleman got out of the vehicle the same vehicle and in their attempt to get away, was shoved to the ground by this African American gentleman," said Cloyd.

The teen identified that man as Bengals receiver Chris Henry, and says receiver Reggie McNeill was also in the vehicle.

The teen also alleges that they were throwing beer bottles at him as he tried to run away."

Yeah, is it sad that i'm not even surprised by this, I mean he has been arrested four times in the past year and a half, and this is just another notch on his already very long rap sheet. I don't know if anything will happen as a result of these allagations so he may still be on our team and I do like him, on the field of course, I mean he's really good but fuck it, release/suspend/trade him, I don't care, we still have Chad and T.J. and we can always go out and get another receiver via free-agency/trade/draft. I'm tired of reading about Bengal players getting into fucking troulbe...it's gotta end somewhere, so why not get rid of the player that really started all of it.

UPDATE: With Leather just updated with conflicting reports from a rival station to WCPO that say that the assault claims against Henry are unfounded, so I guess that's a good thing...

"Commenter Scott points out that a rival station has a source that says the accusations were unfounded. So I guess Bengals players are the new bogeyman in Cincinnati. Kids get beat up by grown men, they just assume it was Bengals. Fair enough."

Duke's reportedly got a 17-year old girl pregnant

As if it couldn't get worse for the Devil Ray's troubled(understatement) outfielder, Elijah Dukes, he has now reportedly gotten a 17-year old girl pregnant. And that's not the worst part, the 17-year old is a foster child and has been living with a relative of Dukes'.

"A 17-year-old foster girl living with a relative of Elijah Dukes told police the Devil Rays outfielder got her pregnant.Detectives believe the sex was consensual and no crime was committed, but the incident has sparked a state investigation into the foster home.

The girl, expected to give birth Nov. 5, told investigators she and Dukes had consensual sex on the living room sofa. She said Dukes got angry when she and another person confronted him about the pregnancy.

“Yeah, we sat down and told him and he got mad and threw a Gatorade at me,” she told investigators.

Dukes’ mother, Phyllis Dukes, said she didn’t know about the allegations.
“He’s doing well on the field,” she said. “He’s doing so good. It’s just every time he turns around there’s something coming at him.”

This latest story comes just weeks after his now ex-wife, filed for divorce with Dukes after he had reportedly threatened her and her children. NiShea Gilbert also filed for a restraining order after Duke barged into her workplace, a middle school classroom of all places, and threatened to beat her and then kill her. No children were present at the time, but Dukes' sent a picture of his gun to Gilbert's cellphone along with this message:

"Hey, dawg. It's on, dawg. You dead, dawg. I ain't even bulls-------. Your kids too, dawg. It don't even matter to me who is in the car with you. N-----, all I know is, n-----, when I see your m-----f------- a-- riding, dawg, it's on. As a matter of fact, I'm coming to your m-----f------ house."

Dukes' is just a rookie for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, and he is very talented with the ability to hit the ball very, very far, but it looks as if his career with the D-Rays might soon come to an end. Dukes' just can't stay out of trouble, whether it be with marijuana or violence towards his now ex-wife, he just can't stay out of trouble off the field. Dukes' has been arrested six times since 1998 and it appears this latest incident will be the final straw with Tampa.

Also see this story on the Fanhouse(new and improved), Can't stop the bleeding, With Leather and Deadspin.

Yahoo makes me laugh

I'm sure we all know how Yahoo Sports can sometimes exaggerate with live broadcasting. Davey knows all about that when he nearly gave birth to a baby whale when Yahoo's live Draft tracker said Miami had taken Baraka Atkins with their ninth overall pick instead of Brady Quinn, but don't worry they didn't take Atkins, they took Ted Ginn Jr, so it's all good.

But Yahoo has been ever so gracious to post this latest gem, in which they said Kansas City was mutilating the St.Louis Cardinals, 15-0 and Tyler Johnson had given up 20 hits in the first four innings.



There's a couple of things I missed, because I had that stupid auto-refresh thing on, so I missed getting to Thompson's line, which had him giving up 20 hits and 7 walks in 4 2/3 innings and also the part where they had Jim Edmonds batting back-to-back-to-back...well you get the point. But I was able to highlight a few things that piqued my interest.

I love the fact that they had Esteban German going 6-6, also they have Alex Gordon at 4-4 and finally Mark Teahen at 6-7....talk about raising the ole batting average a little.

Another point of interest is their horrible math, now sure I suck at it too, but at least I can add properly, well most of the time...first of all they show St.Louis having 12 hits, but if you add up the hits under the Cardinal's lineup it only adds up to 11 and the same goes with Kansas City, they show them having 19 hits, yet their lineup only adds up to 18. I guess they get points for being close, sure wish I got that treatment.

But alas, the Royals are only beating the Cards, 8-0 and German, Teahen and Gordon aren't quite putting up those numbers, although they are all having good games. Looking at where everyone is now, it seems like they just thought, "what the hell, just double everything, it'll be funner". So that's what they did, cause that's how they roll.

Edit: I forgot to mention that when they had Edmonds batting back-to-back about five times, they were for the Royals, so he somehow managed to hit for the opposing team, while playing defense. Quite impressive Mr. Edmonds...quite impressive indeed.

Verlander one ups Schilling...pitches a no-hitter

This is definitely BREAKING NEWS! Justin Verlander just threw a no-hitter against the Milwaukee Brewers. Verlander was cool and collected through nine innings, and that was evident when he hit 102 on the radar guns and then came right back at Brew Crew with a nasty curveball. Verlander only needed 112 pitches to complete the no-no and he also added a career high, 12 strikeouts to go along with four walks, three of which was too Bill Hall.

It was just a few days ago, when Boston Red Sox pitcher, Curt Schilling just missed having a no-hitter when Shannon Stewart broke it up in the ninth inning with a two-out single. But I can tell you one thing, he sure as hell wasn't hitting 102 on the gun. That's almost Zumaya territory.

Verlander, 24, became the second pitcher this season to accomplish the feat and the first Tiger since Jack Morris on April 7, 1984. Mark Burlehe threw one for the Chicago White Sox on April 18 against the Texas Rangers.

More tragedy strikes Denver

Just last Saturday night, Denver Nugget's guard, J.R. Smith along with two of his friends were involved in a serious car accident in which Smith and and his friends were thrown from the vehicle. Smith was able to escape the accident with minor injuries, but sadly Andre Bell didn't.

Bell, 21, was sitting in the backseat of Smith's SUV when Smith ran a stop sign and collided with another car causing them to flip the SUV at about 5:30 pm. Smith and another friend, like I said escaped with numerous bruises and cuts, but Bell was airlifted to Jersey Shore University Medical Center and was listed in "critical condition". Bell went into a coma and tragically passed away earlier tonight because of serious head injuries.

It was also reported by police that neither Smith nor his passengers were wearing seat belts at the time of impact, I guess it goes to show, seat belts do save lives.

A little Q & A with Jarrod Saltalamacchia

Atlanta Braves future Super Star and current catcher/please move him to first so he can play everyday, Jarrod Saltalamacchia had an interview with the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and here it is...

Q. Was your first month in the majors everything you hoped it would be?

A. Yeah, everything and more. Everybody's dreamed about being up here, obviously. And it's been everything I hoped for.

Q. Anything been different than what you expected?

A. It's hard to say. Because you expect so much, and then when you get here, you kind of forget half the stuff you expected. The plane flights are great; it's a lot better than the bus rides you were taking [in the minors]. And just showing up and playing the game — you don't have to be out at 2 o'clock for stretching and stuff like that. They treat you like adults up here, and that's awesome.

Q. The [postgame food] spread isn't bad either, huh?

A. [Saltalamacchia laughs.] Yeah, the spread ain't bad. I've got to stay away from the spread.

Q. Since you first got here, a lot of people noticed how comfortable and confident you look for a rookie in his first call-up. Is that something that you've always had? How do you maintain that, up here playing against guys you've grown up watching?

A. I've always been confident, but I've never felt like, 'Oh, I'm just as good as Chipper Jones.' But a lot of people have told me, you look like you feel that way. I guess sometimes that can get you into trouble because some guys look at you the wrong way and think, 'Oh, this kid's just a cocky little rookie.' But that's not it at all. I listen to everyone and I take everything in. I think that by listening to what other guys have been through, that's what's helped make me look a little more comfortable.

Q. Has that confidence or swagger helped you through the years, helped you get here? Terry Pendleton said that's what it takes to succeed at this level.

A. Yeah, I think so, without a doubt. That's big. I mean, if you don't have any confidence, you can't play the game the right way.

Q. Has your initial success in your first month, some two-hit games, has that helped make you more confident? Or did you come up here knowing you were good enough to play here right now?

A. I think it was very important. Everyone always tells you the big leagues is such a big jump; which it is. To come in and hit the ball like I have, I mean that's a huge confidence level. If you're 0-for-20, you start to doubt yourself. That's what I think happened to me in Double-A [he hit .230 with nine homers and 39 RBIs in an injury-plagued 2006 season at Mississippi]. I started to doubt myself. That's something you can't do. I'm glad I went through that then, instead of going through it now.

Q. If you look at what you did last season, and compare it to what you're doing now, some people are probably asking, how in the world did this guy hit .230 in Double-A? So, how did you?

A. You kind of get yourself in a hole. I mean, whether it was the [injured] wrist that got me in a hole or whatever, I just kind of got into it and it's tough to get out of it. In the second half, I didn't over-pressure myself, just said, 'I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do.' That helped a lot.

Q. Some other young Braves, like Jeff Francoeur and Brian McCann, have actually hit better in their first year in the majors than they did in the minors. Does that have to do with the coaching up here, with Bobby Cox's managerial style, with guys you're surrounded by up here, or what?

A. I think it has to do with everything — the manager, the ballparks, the fans, lights, pitchers are around the plate more ... everything. I mean, they take care of you up here, whereas in the minor leagues you don't get taken care of as well. It's just a fight, a dog-eat-dog world down there. Up here, everyone's a little more relaxed, feeling a little more comfortable. It's a lot easier to play the game that way.

Q. How is the clubhouse atmosphere here, with the veterans sprinkled in with all the young guys closer to your age?

A. It's great. I mean it's tough because you get in situations where I've played with Brian and Francoeur and all those guys, and they are my age, but you still have to look at them as veterans. To us, they're veterans. You've just got to listen to everybody. And that's something I've done. I've listened to Andruw [Jones], Brian, Frenchy, all of them. They've been through it already, so you listen to what they say, and hopefully a couple of years from now somebody will be listening to me.

Q. Chipper being a switch-hitter, has he been able to help you any?

A. He's been huge for me. When you're not playing every day it's tough, you start to doubt your swing and stuff if you have a bad day in [batting practice]. I've talked to Chipper and done some stuff with him to make me get better. He's been there. He's great.

Q. You've taken a lot of ground balls at first base the last couple of years. Was it good to finally get in there to play the position recently in the game at Chicago, to get the yips out of the way early?

A. Yeah, I think that's exactly what it was [Saltalamacchia briefly bobbled the first grounder hit to him as a first baseman and made a throwing error on the second ball hit to him]. I don't know what the plans are; I just know I'm going to keep taking ground balls and do whatever they tell me to do. I feel comfortable over there.

Q. The Braves already have a young catcher [McCann]. You've said before you don't care what position you play, as long as you're in the majors. Is that still the case?

A. Yeah. I don't care what position they put me in. I just want to be here and help the team out as much as I can.

Q. And you'd prefer to stay in this organization?

A. Yeah, I'd love to stay a Brave. I have no control over that, which [stinks]. But whatever's going to help my career and make them happy.

Breaking News: The Spurs are good....like really good

To be completely honest, I didn't watch any of Game 2 of the NBA Finals last night, and it wasn't because I was watching the Sopranos. No, actually I was at the emergency room for a good three and half hours because my dad decided it was a good time to nearly hack off the tip of his thumb. So yes, I missed Game 2, the Braves eventual win and the Series finale of the Sopranos.

It wasn't a good night for me at all, besides missing what turned out to be a shitty night for sports and television in general, my dad almost cut off his thumb, I got a ticket on the way home and I almost hit an innocent bunny(yes I call them bunnies, don't judge me, the Bible says not too). I was just glad to get home and go to sleep last night, and hope that today turns out better.

Let's get to the game, not surprisingly, the Spurs dominated once again and don't let the final score of 103-92 fool you, because if it wasn't for a late fourth quarter effort, it would've been a blowout. For the first three quarters of the game, the Spurs could do no wrong and at the half, they compiled the third highest lead in NBA Finals history. But in the fourth the Cav's were able to put together a 22-4 run and maybe gave them some momentum heading into game three which is in Cleveland.

Once again, Tony Parker led all scorers with 30 points and possibly furthered himself as the possible MVP. Parker also put up four rebounds, two assists and went 13-20 from the field. The only person who could challenge Parker for MVP honors, vying a Spurs win, which is going to happen, is Tim Duncan who, like he always does, put up a great stat line, but it was just a shade under memorable. Duncan just missed having a triple-double with 23 points, 9 rebounds and 8 assists. On the Cav's side of the ball, LeBron scored 25 points, 7 rebounds, 6 assists but he turned the ball over six times and Daniel "BOOBIE" Gibson had another good game, coming off the bench of course, with 15 points and oh yeah, he shot 50% from the field. If the Cavaliers have any chance at winning even one game, they have to put Gibson in the starting lineup, come on Mike Brown....start BOOBIE!

Rumors can be so much fun

According to the Boston Globe, the Boston Celtics could be looking to trade their fifth overall draft pick before the NBA Draft, which is June 28th. The Globe lists the Phoneix Suns and the Indiana Pacers as a potential trading partners.

"One of the scenarios raised by the executive had Shawn Marion and the $33.6 million and two years remaining on his contract headed to Boston for the No. 5 pick and Theo Ratliff, who has one year remaining worth $11.7 million. The Celtics would throw in another player or two with one year left to make the money work -- say, Delonte West ($1.9 million), Tony Allen ($1.9 million), or even Sebastian Telfair ($2.6 million)....Look for an organization like Indiana, without any picks, to try to deal its way into the mix."

Now this would certainly be huge news if Marion was traded to the Celtics after not coming through in the playoffs with the Suns. Marion would be a great fit in Boston, if the trade were to happen, he's great on defense and can provide some contributions offensively, and that would go a long way to helping Paul Pierce.

I'm just not sure if they would be giving too much up for him, I mean the fifth pick in a very deep draft plus the HUGE expiring contract of Theo Ratliff and one of their point guards. It would be a great trade for the Suns, who are looking to dump some salary cap while moving up in the draft. This could be the first of many trades on draft day, seeing as how there are a lot of teams without draft picks and this draft is so deep teams will be looking to take advantage of that.

Come on little man, just rub some dirt on it

The Ultimate Brushback - Watch more free videos

During this little league game, at least that's what it look like, this kid decides to square away for a bunt but ends up taking a fastball in the chest. Aww, that's gotta hurt, he'll be ok, just walk it off young man, it'll toughen you up.

Here's the video from the race

I've been searching for this video for the past five minutes and I finally found it. Here's the video of Chad Johnson destroying Restore the Roar in the race, he also has a great interview talking about the possibility of doing more crazy stuff to help his favorite charity, "Feed the Children", he says he would love to spar with Floyd Mayweather Jr for a few rounds, going one-on-one with either Kobe Bryant or LeBron James and even race the top racer in Nascar for a few laps. Man, I love this guy.

Update: No, I haven't found another video, but I did find some pictures from today's event.






UPDATE #2: Ok, so here's the best video I can find....

What did I tell you....Chad Johnson beat a horse in a race

I believe it was just ten days when I posted that Chad Johnson of my Cincinnati Bengal's, was set to race a thoroughbred horse, you may also remember I said that he was going to kick that horse's ass and there would be no photo finish.

"We're about to see a man kick a horse's ass everyone, photo finish my ass, Chad is gonna make this horse cry."

Well the race was held today, at River Downs and the competition was set in hopes that the crowd would get to see a photo finish, so Chad was going to run 110 yards while the horse was set to run 220 yards. And to add more drama, I guess, the jockey, P.J. Cookey, was the same jockey on the horse that beat Chris Collinsworth in a photo finish back in 1993. Well unlike Collinsworth, my man Chad kicked the shit out of the horse, it wasn't even close as Chad won the race by twelve "horse" lengths.

Draped in black-and-orange silks emblazoned with No. 85 and “Ocho Cinco,” Chad Johnson eighty-sixed a four-year-old thoroughbred in Saturday’s showdown at River Downs.

Before a raucous Belmont day crowd of about 8,000 that Johnson fired up along the rail of the interior turf track as he warmed up, the Bengals Pro Bowl wide receiver beat Restore The Roar by 12 horse lengths and then called for a rematch this summer that would be more fair for the beast.

The horse, ridden by P.J. Cooksey, once the winningest female jockey of all time, ran about 220 yards, or a furlong, while Johnson had a 110-yard head start and ran one--16th of a mile.

It was Restore The Roar’s fourth race in a career known mainly for distance, and his first run on grass. Still, the result surprised many veteran horse observers.

“That is a very fast man,” said Cooksey, who beat Bengals receiver Cris Collinsworth in a photo finish in 1993. “Kudos to Chad. If we had the same start I’m not sure we still could have beat him.”

Johnson, of course, said he had it all the way. With all proceeds going to his favorite charity, “Feed The Children,” Johnson had a message for the NFL.

“Ray (Lewis), Ed (Reed), DeAngelo (Hall), you all saw that,” said Johnson after a quick appearance on ESPN. “We’re going to Arizona (site of the Super Bowl).”

So there you have it, straight from the horse's mouth, ok, I apologize for that it was pretty lame. I've heard rumors that Chad is going to be racing 100 midgets, but that's just rumors, I can't confirm or deny that one.

Jon Gruden is ready to hand the job to Garcia

It looks like the starting quarterback for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on opening day might just be Jeff Garcia. According to ESPN's Len Pasquarelli, Jon Gruden has said that Garcia is in the lead and his other qb's have a lot of work to do if they have hopes in overtaking Garcia as the starter.

"There's not a lot of controversy in my eyes right now," Gruden said. "If you want to catch up to Jeff Garcia, our young quarterbacks have a lot of work to do."

Jeff Garcia, 37, is entering his eighth season and will be playing with his fifth different franchise in five years(Cleveland, Detroit, San Francisco, Philadelphia and now Tampa Bay). He generated a lot of heat for him self after leading the Eagles to a 5-1 record in six starts and led them to a division title and a playoff birth after Donovan McNabb tore his ACL. In his six starts, Garcia threw for ten touchdowns and just two interceptions.

"He understands the position," Gruden said of Garcia. "He's moved offenses wherever he has been. And right now, Jeff Garcia has a big lead, to me, on the quarterback position. He brings a lot of juice and enthusiasm to our offensive team."

"I'm not discounting that it will be competitive in camp. . . . But Garcia is clearly the leader in the clubhouse right now, and we are excited about that." Gruden said of the quarterback battle.

Still looking to win over the starting job is last year's opening day starter, Chris Simms and Bruce Gradkowski, who started majority of the season after Simms' appendix bursted against the Carolina Panthers. And then there's always Jake Plummer, or is he really retired.

Side Note: Jeff Garcia played great last year and his new wife, Carmella DeCesare, is smoking...but at the end of the day he still looks like an albino.

Apparently Duke doesn't like Elton Brand or Josh McRoberts

I'm a little late on this story, seeing as how it started making rounds yesterday, but since I was posting useless shit that I missed it. Apparently a rather busty Duke student felt that she needed to send an email to former Duke standout and current NBA All-Star, Elton Brand and tell him that he isn't respected by the fans of Duke because of his decision to leave school early for the NBA. And, well this wouldn't be near as entertaining had he not replied to her. Which he did, with the utmost dignity and grace.

From: Taylor, Jennifer
Sent: Friday, April 16, 1999 2:55 PM
To: Brand, Elton
Subject: Leaving Duke

I graduated from Duke last May and just wanted to express my disgust for your decision to leave the Duke program after only two years. As an alum, not only do I hold the school in high regard, but the basketball program as well, especially since both have deservedly garnered such a great deal of respect for their accomplishments.

As part of our basketball program, you represent Duke as a whole. We are first and foremost an academic school, you clearly did not belong at Duke in the first place if this was the extent of your commitment to Duke and a college education in general. You have not only insulted the current students who are putting in four years at a school they love, but also the thousands of alumni who have realized the value of a Duke education and what an honor and privilege it was to be there for four years.

If you do not realize the opportunity you has infront of you to play for Coach K and at the same time attain a Duke diploma, then that is certainly your loss. I just wish that you has spared us the notion that you were continuing in the tradition of being a Duke student-athlete, in emphasizing excellence in both academics and athletics. You will not be considered part of the Duke family, in my mind as well as many others. You have by no means proved yourself worthy of that title.

Sincerely,
Jennifer Taylor

From: Elton Tyron Brand
Sent: Sunday, April 25, 1999 8:05 PM
To: Taylor, Jennifer
Subject: Re: Leaving Duke

Thank you very much, for reminding me of the reason why I left Duke. People like you can not and will not ever understand my situation. I'm sure daddy worked very hard to send your rich self to college. While real people struggle. I would also like to extend an invitation for you not to waste your or my time ever again. Never being considered a part of your posh group of yuppies really hurts me to the heart. Yeah, right. Because I don't care about you or your alumni.

Sincerely, Elton Brand #42 NBA

First of all, this girl is obviously a stuck up bitch and it serves her right for getting put in her place by Brand and I absolutely love the fact that he signed his letter as "#42 NBA"...awesome! And if you needed more proof to how much of a bitch this Jennifer Taylor is, Sports by Brooks has a post about her with her slamming the "Cameron Crazies" and Josh McRoberts. Here's what she said:

Boobs McShelden (pictured): "I'd say we're the three most attractive girls at Duke, there's not a big selection. ... The Cameron Crazies sit in the student section, the VIPs (like them) sit in the behind-the-family section. ... They (Cameron Crazies) camp out like refugees, it's ridiculous."

Juggs McShelden Shoe Leather Friend #1: "We don't tent for tickets, I go to will call (laughs)."

When Chesty McShelden is asked about her ticket "hook-up" she responds with faux protestation, "I don't like the word 'hook-up' ... I would say 'friends', we have various 'friends' on the team."

Saggy McShelden then delivers a parting shot on Josh McRoberts (who obviously doesn't leave tickets for passed-around ... felines): "I think he's the only person ever leaving Duke early where people weren't sad."

"(Following jumpcut where Melons McShelden obviously begged camera crew to add on a conciliatory comment from her) Nothing personal Josh, I have class with you, I have to see you!

Also see this story on Awful Announcing, Sports by Brooks and Sea of Blue.

I was just slightly off my prediction

Earlier I mentioned that the Braves were getting abused without remorse to the Chicago Cubs, well it didn't get any better, we ended up losing 9-1. Thanks in large part to Alfonso Soriano, he hit three homeruns in the game, all before the fifth inning. But for some reason, after the fourth, we figured out how to pitch to him as he was unable to crush another to tie the all-time single game record which is four, held by multiple players but the only ones I can think of are Shawn Green, Mike Cameron and....yeah that's all, holy shit this sentence just keeps on going doesn't it? Finally it ended.

Long story short, the Braves are playing about as well as California's Justice system, Ba-Zing! And pitchers like Lance Cormier aren't helping, he's currently sporting a 15.26 to go along with an 0-2 record, and yes, it's very hard to continue to defend my team against assholes, er I mean good friends of mine that happen to be fans of other teams....that get facials from amphibians, and I don't mean with apricot scrub. But I do love how Bobby Cox can still be optimistic during our recent plummet, ok, to say we're plummeting is harsh, we're still in second place, but we're playing like shit with out Chipper Jones and it's beginning to get real old, at this point I'd rather sit through a "Golden Girls" marathon.

"Cormier was just a little bit here, a little bit there," Cox said.

"The stuff's there. It's there. It's just, he's rusty."

Sure Bobby, let's go with that, I personally would've phrased it differently but that's just me. All I can do right now is get in the fetal position and weather the storm, hopefully this slump passes through and we get back on track. And Chipper comes back at 100%.

I think it's time to meet the future Mrs. Francoeur

Well the Atlanta Braves are currently getting their asses handed to them by the Cubs, yes the Cubs, well mostly just Alfonso Soriano, who continues to destroy the Braves and kill me a little more inside. He just hit his second homerun of the game, but at least they were both solo shots. Then again Cormier is still pitching, so he's surely to give up at least 14 more. Yeah, he's that bad.

Atlanta Braves right fielder, Jeff Francoeur got engaged earlier this year, to a girl by the name of Catie McCoy. Well, she's a college sophomore at Georgia University and she has her own web page. Here is a little about Catie McCoy, the soon to be Catie Francoeur.

My name is Catie McCoy. I am a sohomore at the University of Georgia. I am majoring in English Education and minoring in Mass Communications. I am a member of Alpha Omicron Pi sorority and participate in other various activities here at UGA. This is a website for my online@UGA class. I am hoping to give you a little glimpse into my life, as well as show you the project I've been working on for class. I am just learning how to do this website stuff, so excuse the mistakes!

Have a GREAT day :)

GO DAWGS!!!

There's a few pictures of her, her friends and her family, it looks like Frenchy got him a nice church girl, niice.

Here is the link to Katies Web Page, again.

Random video time

No basketball today...and the Braves game hasn't started yet, so what the hell, here's another random video from my amazing collection....Gotta keep your head up there buddy...that's lesson one of hurling large projectiles at one another's faces...I thought everyone knew that.


Little Kids Face vs Large Exercise Ball - Watch more free videos

I have a feeling all of the games are going to be like this

Last night was game one of the NBA Finals and despite a late rally, the Cavaliers couldn't handle the Spurs. The James-less Cav's went on to lose game one, 85-76, and yes, you can blame that on LeBron, he looked over matched and by "over matched", I mean he sucked. LeBron James only shot 4-16 from the field last night and ended up with 14 points, 7 rebounds and 4 assists. He also turned the ball over six times, I guess Bruce Bowen can still play some good defense...but he's still dirty. And the Cav's really need to start Daniel "BOOBIE" Gibson, he once again had a great game, scoring 16 points in just 28 minutes of play, coming off the bench of course. He also added four assists and four steals.

To be completely fair, the Spurs didn't get a whole lot of support besides Duncan, Parker and Ginobili but that was all they needed. Tim Duncan scored 24 points and also grabbed 13 rebounds, blocked five shots and had two steals. Tony Parker led the game in scoring with his 27 points, he also added seven assists, two steals and four rebounds. And finally Manu Ginobili helped with 16 points and 8 rebounds off the bench.

On a completely different side note, this game did supply one of the greatest pictures I have ever seen.



There are many different factors that add greatness to this picture, for instance take a look at Robert "Big Shot" Horry and his best impression of a mentally handicapped squirrel. I am also quite fond of Ginobili's air boxing...it kind of looks like he hit James...which would've added some excitement in the game.

Amanda Beard's Playboy pics are out...

While reading one of my personal favorite sites, With Leather, I noticed that Ufford had posted the much anticipated pictures of Amanda Beard's Playboy spread. I have to say, they're not too bad looking, not bad at all, of course their are a few that are questionable, but hey I can't really talk, I posted my pic early in the week, and I received many emails from frightened people requesting me to pay for their eye surgery, which I was a total bad ass and I digitally hung up on them....score one for me...yes, yes, I know, onto the naked gold medalist.

Warning: Not Safe For Work!

You can see the pics here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here.

Enjoy.

Also see this story on With Leather.

Atlanta Braves 2007 MLB Draft (rounds 1-5)

The fifth round of the 2007 First-Year Player Draft has just wrapped up, and I have to say, at first I wasn't very thrilled with how the Braves had done thus far, at least not right away, But after looking at some of their profiles and their scouting reports I started to come around. I'm still not sold on some prospects, like our third round picks, I just don't see why we would take them. We definitely passed up on a lot of great prospects and in return drafted some mediocre prospects according to scouting reports, scouting videos and hearsay that i've been able to find.

After doing some more research and talking with people who have first hand knowledge, our first three picks are actually pretty good, granted our third round pick I might've done differently but hey, that's just me. But alas, here are our first seven prospects that we drafted.

Side Note: These great player profiles come courtesy of MLB.com

1st round (14th overall):

Jason Heyward

Height: 6'4"
Weight: 220
Birth Date: 8/09/89
Bats: Left
Throws: Left
School: Henry County HS (McDonough, GA)
Position: Outfield and First Base



Hitting Ability: Heyward is a strong, left-handed hitter with the chance to hit for average and power.

Power: His best tool. He's got tremendous power and power potential from the left side.

Running Speed: Close to average. He's not a speedster, but he won't clog up the bases, either.

Arm Strength: Near average, but should develop average arm strength with a good long-tossing program.

Fielding: Heyward plays center for his high school team, but will likely be a left fielder or first baseman at the next level. He's average defensively overall.

Range: He's got average range. He's not a stiff, but won't win any gold gloves.

Baseball Instinct: He's got very good baseball instincts.

Physical Description: Heyward is a big strong, power-hitting lefty at age 17.

Medical Update: Healthy

Strengths: Power potential from the left side, approach at the plate.

Weaknesses: Some think he can be too patient at times, but that could be the result of not seeing any good pitches. He also may be limited to left field or first base.

Summary: Heyward is one of the most intriguing high school bats in the draft class. He's got legitimate power potential from the left side, always a hot commodity, but isn't an all-or-nothing hitter. He's got a good approach at the plate and has the chance to hit for average and power. If the cards fall right, he could be a future cleanup hitter.

My Grade: A+

Supplemental Round (33rd overall):

Jon Gilmore

Height: 6'3"
Weight: 190
Birthdate: 8/23/88
Bats: Right
Throws: Right
School: Iowa City HS (Iowa City, IA)
Position: Third Base



Hitting Ability: Gilmore showed a better approach at the plate during this showcase than he had in the past. He adjusted well to offspeed stuff and showed good extension through the zone.

Power: Gilmore has projectable raw power.

Running Speed: He's a below-average runner.

Arm Strength: Gilmore's arm seemed tired or labored during the showcase.

Fielding: Gilmore was a little slow defensively with an almost casual approach.

Range: The lack of quickness showed and his range was limited.

Physical Description: Gilmore has an Aaron Boone-body type and has changed physically in the past year, looking stronger now.

Medical Update: Healthy.

Strengths: Offensive potential, with power and overall hitting ability projection.

Weaknesses: His defensive game is behind his bat and was lackluster with the glove at this showcase.

Summary: Gilmore improved at the plate tremendously in his senior season. The infielder has good raw power and showed a better overall approach in his offensive game. His defense isn't as sharp, but he will be drafted because of his bat potential.

My Grade: B-

Second Round (69th Overall)

Josh Fields

Height: 6'0"
Weight: 180
Birthdate: 8/19/85
Bats: Right
Throws: Right
School: Georgia University
Position: Relief Pitcher



Fastball: Fields throws a plus fastball that sat consistently in the 93-96 mph range.

Fastball Movement: Coming from a direct overhand slot, Fields' fastball is very straight.

Slider: Usually, Fields has a good hard slider in the 78-79 mph range. He didn't throw it much in his Friday outing.

Control: Usually Fields has decent control, but he was overthrowing up and out of the strike zone on Friday. He came out of his delivery and was constantly behind in the count, which kept him from getting to his above-average slider.

Poise: It was below average on Friday. He was given a lead and was perhaps too amped up to close out a win against Oregon State on opening night.

Aggressiveness: Being aggressive for a closer is a good thing, but he was overly-aggressive in a save situation on Friday. He can be too aggressive, wanting to come in and throw hard. He needs to learn to channel that.

Physical Description: He's a six-foot righty with a power arm who'll likely always have to answer questions about his size.

Medical Update: Healthy.

Strengths: Fields has a legitimate power arm with the classic fastball-slider mix.

Weaknesses: Normally, command is not a problem for Fields, but it was on Friday. He has shown the ability to keep his fastball down in the zone and will need to get back to that in the future.

Summary: Fields will be one of the most-watched college closers this season. His outing on Friday may be just one hiccup chalked up to Opening Night jitters. His size will always be an issue because of his plane to the plate and leverage, though others (Billy Wagner from the left side) have shown size doesn't always matter.

My Grade: C+

Third Round (78th Overall)

Frederick Freeman

Height: 6'5"
Weight: N/A
Birthdate: 9/12/89
Bats: Left
Throws: Right
School: El Modena HS (California)
Position: Third Base

I apologize for this, but I can't find any information on Frederick Freeman, I'll will be trying my damnedest to find out some stuff about him...I will update when I do.

The only thing I can find is his scouting video...here's the link, just scroll down and click the "400k" next to his name.

Third Round (108th Overall):

Brandon Hicks

Height: 6'2"
Weight: 205
Birthdate: 9/14/85
Bats: Right
Throws: Right
School: Texas A&M University
Position: Shortstop



Hitting Ability: Hicks grades out as a below-average hitter.

Power: He has below-average power.

Running Speed: Hicks has above-average speed.

Base Running: He uses his speed well and knows how to steal a base.

Arm Strength: Hicks has above-average arm strength at short.

Fielding: He is average across the board defensively.

Range: The speed helps, and Hicks has Major League average range.

Physical Description: Hicks is an athletic middle infielder with a Jay Bell body type.

Medical Update: Healthy.

Strengths: He's solid defensively, he can run well and his makeup is off the charts.

Weaknessess: There are questions about whether he'll hit enough at the next level.

Summary: Hicks is a speedy shortstop with excellent defensive skills and tremendous makeup. All of that won't make him an everyday shortstop at the next level unless he can hit enough, something that scouts question. Worst-case, he could make for a very good defensive-minded utility guy who can run.

My Grade: D+

Fourth Round (138th Overall):

Cory Gearrin

Height: 6'2"
Weight: 185
Birthdate: 4/14/86
Bats: Right
Throws: Right
School: Mercer University
Position: Relief Pitcher



Fastball: Gearrin throws an average fastball.

Fastball Movement: His fastball has below-average life.

Slider: Gearrin's slider projects as an average pitch. Right now, it's not as there is too much sweeping action when he throws it.

Control: He should have average command in the future.

Poise: Gearrin is a very aggressive pitcher as Mercer's closer.

Physical Description: Gearrin is a sidearming right-hander with a Scot Shields body type.

Medical Update: Healty.

Strengths: Gearrin's sidearm action is difficult to pick up for hitters.

Weaknesses: The arm angle does cause the sweep on the slider.

Summary: Gearrin jumped on the map early this year when his Mercer team took two games from the University of Miami. Gearrin saved both of those games, going three innings and striking out six without allowing a hit. The sidearmer is a very aggressive pitcher who'll need to work on tightening his slider. He profiles as a decent middle or setup guy out of someone's bullpen.

My Grade: C+

5th Round (168th Overall):

Dennis Dixon

Height: 6'4"
Weight: 205
Birthdate: 1/11/85
Bats: Left
Throws: Right
School: Oregon University
Position: Outfield


Much like Freeman, there is no information available at this time on Dennis Dixon. But when I heard his name, it rang a bell for some reason, after thinking about it for a second I realized that Dennis Dixon was the Oregon Ducks starting quarterback last season. That shows how athletic he is if he can start at quarterback at a major college and be successful. After doing some further research, I found that he was once ranked as a tremendous baseball prospect as an outfielder and was chosen in the 20th round of the 2003 Amateur Baseball Draft by Cincinnati. Obviously he decided to go ahead and pursue a career in football, but now he's back and looking to help out my beloved Braves.

My Grade: C

My thoughts:

I'm sorry but one of the biggest disappointments for me so far have been us not drafting a starting pitcher, despite the fact that we are currently having starting pitching problems, now I know that majority of the guys we draft won't make it to the majors for at least two or more years, but still, we need starting pitching. Besides the lack of addressing starting pitching, another move that left me in awe was both of our third round picks. First off, we had just drafted a third baseman two rounds before, why would we need to draft another, less talented player at the same position? You got me. And secondly, what the fuck is this team's obsession with middle infielders that can't hit for shit? We, in essence, drafted Pete Orr version two when we picked Brandon Hicks with the 108th pick. Besides those two picks, I was overall pleased.

I just really wished we could've got Matt Harvey, a right-handed pitcher out of Fitch HS in Groton, Conn. The kid has so much talent and should've been a top 15 pick this season if it wasn't for his choice in a representative(aka an agent). He decided that it would be a good move to have Scott Boras as his agent, and it cost him hundreds of thousands of dollars and he dropped, oh about 100 picks, give or take. Boras had teams afraid to draft Harvey because he mentioned that he wanted his clients to be signed to huge contracts and teams weren't willing to invest as much as he wanted to an 18 year-old high school kid. But he was finally taken by the Los Angeles Angels with the 118th overall selection and trust me, if they can get this kid signed, he's an bonafide STEAL.

The other 45 rounds(!) will begin tomorrow, I won't be live blogging that, for obvious reasons, but I'll recap with my Braves' picks.

UPDATE:

Thanks to Stephen of the BravesJournal, he found information about Frederick Freeman and he graciously shared with me. Also the link that he supplied also had infomation on Dennis Dixon, so I'll go ahead and update him as well. So without further adieu, here's Freeman's and Dixon's profile.

Third Round (78th Overall)

Frederick "Freddie" Freeman

Height: 6'5"
Weight: N/A
Birthdate: 9/12/89
Bats: Left
Throws: Right
School: El Modena HS (California)
Position: Third Base

The Braves love this power-hitting infielder who spent most of his high school career at third base but will play first base as a pro. Freeman can also pitch, but the Braves feel he has great power potential as a corner infielder. Like Heyward, Freeman is only 17 and doesn’t turn 18 until September 12th. The six-foot-five, 215-pounder has a solid swing from the left side of the plate. He hit .453 this season with 5 home runs and 20 RBI in 75 at bats. Freeman will join Heyward in the Gulf Coast League this summer in Florida.

5th Round (168th Overall):

Dennis Dixon

Height: 6'4"
Weight: 205
Birthdate: 1/11/85
Bats: Left
Throws: Right
School: Oregon University
Position: Outfield

Dennis Dixon was drafted by the Reds in the 20th round out of high school a few years ago, but instead he decided to attend Oregon to play football. He’s been one of the Ducks’ starting quarterbacks the last few seasons, but he believes baseball is his future. Even though he has not played baseball in a few years, the Braves were one of a few teams interested in Dixon on the diamond. He worked out twice for the Braves, and the scouts were convinced he would be a project worth the gamble. Dixon is six-foot-four, 205-pounder and he will turn 23 next January. The Braves will send him down to the Gulf Coast League this summer, and then he’ll return to Oregon for his senior season as the Ducks’ starting signal-caller in August. Dixon can run, throw, and catch the ball, so he just has to work on his hitting. The Braves will not rush him, and the scouts feel like he could be a special athlete that could really excel on the baseball field.